The Nice Girl on Dating Disasters

Thoughts on the 2017 dating scene:

I’m over it. 

I arrived on the dating scene at 21 years old. After not being on a date since I was 14 and being with the same person for three years shy of a decade.

But let’s get to the embarrassing stuff. Single ladies you are not alone.

I’m about to go Mean Girls Burn Book.

Dating Disasters over the years? YES. Plenty.

Most recent: Dumped via text after being in a relationship for a week.Then he's with another woman less than 24 hours later publicly on social media. After I was being told so many things. Promising things. Like "you are the one for me" things. "I see us in the future" things. Our relationship was made FaceBook official, so that's really official right? Photos and everything. Which he removed within five minutes. If it feels too good to be true, it usually is. I need some laughing emojis.

The most embarrassing date happened a few years ago. I went out to get pizza with someone. He was a church-goer, which was great to me. We had mutual friends and attended the same college. It was a pizza dinner date, so casual conversation, a casual evening. After arriving home I texted him and thanked him for the meal. I heard nothing back. I thought it was strange, but shrugged it off and thought maybe he didn’t like me. Then I was woken up by my phone ringing at MIDNIGHT. It was him. I answered the phone and he immediately said, “Sera, we need to talk.” We had been on one date mind you, so I had no idea what he wanted to talk about. I said, “Okay, what about?” He replied with, “God told me you are not the one for me.” I was in complete shock. I wasn’t asking the guy to marry me. We just had ONE dinner. ONE SLICE OF PIZZA. ONE DATE. ONE FACE TO FACE CONVO. I was taken aback and didn’t know if I should be mad or laugh. I didn’t know what to say, so I simply said “Thank you for telling me.” I am too nice. He basically just told me the creator of the universe told him after one date with me that I was not his soul mate. Gentlemen, if God tells you this, don’t tell your date. He probably doesn’t want her to know that after the first date or ever actually. I would have been better off with a “no text back”. And he recently requested me on SnapChat and watches every one of my stories (INSERT MORE LAUGHING EMOJIS). 

Men are slick. I joined a dating app in 2014 and matched with a man I thought was a lot younger. A friend asked how my dating life was going and I told him the man’s name. He asked me to send him a photo. He was using the same dating site at the time. So I sent the photo. I got a text back saying, “That is not his real name. And he is very much married. Go look at his Facebook. I work with him.” I searched his REAL name on Facebook and I got the “User Not Found” notification. I had someone else search him, and yes he was married. He had blocked me on Facebook, so I wouldn’t find out. He was also using old photos on the app and claiming to be ten years younger. I confronted him about it and he was in complete denial. I ended up deleting the app. I had too many creepies on there. One man I didn’t even match with, looked me up on Facebook and at the end of his message said, “Promise to message me back?” No, but I sure enough promised the block button.

Also, if you are on your iPhone at dinner then you pull out another phone and it's one that flips open, I am asking for the check. Don't tell me it's your work phone, because I'm automatically assuming it's your TRAP phone...(Yes, this happened too.)

There's been one man I meshed well with to the point of a very serious relationship, but every woman who didn't want him before me wanted him while we were together. That's how some women are. They turn a man down until he's with another female, and all of a sudden they are interested in him. Unfortunately, he took them up on their offers. And I didn't find out until later, thanks to a friend looking out for me with her iPhone camera. 

These people I am referring to I have thought are well-rounded educated people. People I thought surrounded themselves with other well-rounded educated people. Until I know their personal lives. Like a horse vet wanting to fight me over a man with a masters degree.  Are we back in middle school middle-aged people? No, dating a man in his 30's doesn't mean you're dating a mature man. Contrary to popular belief. 

You don't have to be a trouble-maker or drama lover for these things to happen to you. I stay to myself and mind my own business. I'm not going to let people run over me, but I have never started trouble just to start it. What is meant to be an innocent journey of finding Mr. Right can end up turning into a chaotic fiasco very quickly. I've found this out over a very short period of time.

I’ve been stood up. I’ve been ready to be picked up for a date, and no one show. It is really hard to find decent human beings these days. Then my friends tell me, “Don’t sweat it, you can have anyone you want!” No girl, it’s not that simple. Especially when you are a single mom like me. I want the right person to come into my son’s life, and I do not want to waste my time. My dad recently told me to join Tinder or Match.com.    

 PERHAPS NOT. 

Well, maybe. My sister met her hubby on Tinder....

Good luck ladies on your quest to find the one worth spending the rest of your life with. We're all going to need it.