Big News, Venues, Menus, & Wedding Shoes

OF COURSE, I have to blog about my upcoming wedding. I have been meaning to for quite some time, but with recovery and things being so crazy busy I decided to wait until after Christmas. At the end of November I asked Logan and Aubrey to be the two girls by my side at my wedding. Logan will be my Maid Of Honor. I purchased a special invitation for them, written by me. I presented these invitations to them at Up Your Alley Chophouse in downtown Aiken, while my mom photographed.

Personalized invitations for the girls! 

We all exchanged hugs and tears! 

After lunch Logan and Aubrey tried on the samples of their dresses for the big day. I also showed Aubrey my dress for the first time. She was speechless and in tears! I purchased my wedding shoes prior to asking the girls to be in my wedding. This was the only item I was able to take home. Save the dates were ordered, except now I will have to keep them. The date has changed, so I will be going straight to the invitations. 

My wedding shoes :)

Aubrey's Reaction to my dress: 

I told her to keep her eyes covered until my dress was clipped. 

Aubrey was crying again at this point! 

Mine and Chris' wedding has been put on hold due to this surgery. We were actually supposed to be married on October 27 of this year. We decided to give things some more time and rescheduled the wedding for August 29th, 2014. August 29th fell on a Friday and I was SO EXCITED. This was the day Chris asked me to date him when we were 14 years old, in 9th grade at Silver Bluff High School. Everything has seemed to fall into place and we were able to get our first home sooner than we planned. I decided to move the wedding up to Spring. Our new date is April 26th, 2014.

Our first Save The Dates. I made these myself on Photoshop! These were for the original October wedding.

Our second round of Save the Dates. These were for the August 29th wedding. These were ordered from Etsy, and I will most likely use the same Etsy Shop for my invitations!

I have also met with our florist in 2012 shortly after Chris and I were engaged. We have rescheduled another meeting. She is Miss Tammy from Dyson's Designs and I love her work. I have recommended her to other brides. She is FANTASTIC! We have decided on a venue and will be meeting with potential caterers soon. I will disclose that information in the next blog post! I will also be featuring photos from our new home after the paperwork is finalized!

(WE WILL HAVE OUR OWN HOUSE, FINALLY!) 

OUR STORY

I was new to Silver Bluff, I was actually zoned for South Aiken High. I wanted to attend a smaller high school after attending a quaint Christian school along with homeschooling my middle school years. I saw Chris for the first time at our Freshman Orientation in the gym. He had his hat on backwards (he still wears them like this) and had on plaid shorts. Yes, they were in style back then in 2007! I thought he was cute, but I was busy trying to find my classes and meet my new teachers. I went to my 7th period class, which was Geometry and picked a seat in the middle of the room. Chris walks in and sits next to me, pretending he didn't notice I was sitting there. We didn't say anything to each other, which wasn't surprising. I was focused about my future in Geometry, so I didn't pay Chris too much attention. The only thing that stuck in my mind was "Wow, where do I know him from? He looks vaguely familiar..."

Later on that week, Chris and I would arrive to school around the same time. We still didn't speak to each other. We had 7th period together everyday and we continued to walk past one another without a word. Finally, I decided to sit at a different table during lunch. It was the end of the school week and I worked up enough courage to ask Chris where he went to middle school and where he was from. You were either from Jackson or New Ellenton if you went to Silver Bluff, with a few exceptions. Some friends and I were from Aiken. Mine and Chris' conversation didn't even last five minutes, and it was extremely awkward. My friend Colleen was sitting beside me so I talked to her during lunch until the bell rang. When I got home that day, I checked my Myspace. This was the social media site we all used in 2007 before Facebook became popular. I had a notification alerting me  of a new friend request from Chris Rautio. His profile picture was a "selfie" in a Pepsi shirt. I'm pretty sure I was the first one to comment on his photo and send him a message. Chris isn't much for conversation starting. We hit it off on Myspace messaging, since that was less intimidating for the both of us. Shortly after I was invited to a bonfire. I decided to go after Chris shared with me on a Myspace message that he would be there. I had a good time, but I only talked to Chris for about ten minutes before I left. He pretended to ignore me the whole bonfire. We eventually got our own "first selfie" that night, which went on my Myspace page when I returned home. Three days later on August 29th, 2007 in front of my locker, Chris asked me the one question I had been waiting for, "Are we going out now or what?"..... Well it wasn't exactly how I pictured it, but that was Chris for you.

Our first "selfie" before the "selfie" was a thing ;) 8/26/07 

Our first SBHS football game as a couple. 8/31/07

We continued dating throughout high school and I liked to call us the "Silver Bluff Soap Opera". We were even nominated "Most Likely to Never be Single" our senior year for superlatives. Our relationship was so dramatic and still is. Now we have Haiden and we are getting married. Everything is just so surreal.

"Most Likely to Never be Single" Senior Superlative 2011 SBHS.

Chris and I have a history and we know each other so well. Our story is what makes our relationship so special. We have grown up together and Chris has TRULY been my best friend. We are more in love now than we ever were. We have learned through the good times and the bad, almost 7 years worth! We have a son who is the perfect mixture of us both who has brought us closer together. I am looking forward to our upcoming wedding and sharing it with our friends and loved ones.

12/28/13

Be on the look-out for wedding invitations! We have decided on an "intimate gathering" style wedding.  Chris and I did not want a big wedding and wanted to invite those who have been there for us throughout the years. Our wedding theme is going to be centered around "Our Story". 

Have a Happy New Year and stay tuned for more details! 

Marriage Isn't For Me

I have seen the "Marriage Isn't For You" blog article pop up on my Facebook timeline. And what perfect timing. I love when I read something and it just speaks to a situation I have been in or dealing with at the moment. And this is where my surgery comes into play. It has been a blessing in so many ways. Prior to surgery, Chris and I were having a hard time. I couldn't understand why things weren't going anywhere, especially considering we had been together 6 years. Having a baby at a young age was hard and has made us grow up quickly. We have lost friends along the way and people we thought would always be there. It was hard having to realize we can't do the things we used to, now we have a child to think about. Having this surgery has put Chris in a whole new light for me, for which I am very grateful. I am one to always focus on the negative, which I can not do after this surgery. I can't emotionally or physically handle focusing on the negative anymore while trying to recover.

Before surgery I would always harp on the bad things Chris did, the way he talked to me when he got angry, or what he didn't do. I was constantly comparing him to other girl's boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands. Ladies you should never do this. I got myself into a lot of trouble thinking "the grass was greener on the other side".  It took me awhile to finally learn that someone else's grass was no greener than my own. No one has the perfect relationship and everyone struggles. The struggles I was facing were in MYSELF. Before surgery I was convinced Chris and I would never  be able to get married or even make a marriage work. I was too focused on what he wasn't instead of what he was. Even though Chris did a lot of good things for me, I refused to see this. He was always there for me when my health issues were getting the best of me. He bought me a SECOND engagement ring for Mother's Day. He took me to Savannah for a weekend before my surgery. But instead of being thankful for all of this, I put my focus on the things I thought he should be doing for me. 

After surgery while I was in the hospital Chris was by my side. This meant more to me than anything. Just the fact he was there. He would stay the night with me, would buzz the nurses when I was in pain, and would keep me company through the whole week. He even missed class some days to be with me. I have learned to cherish the little moments and the little things he does. Last Tuesday I had a seizure and while I was in the hospital I kept saying I wanted a big slice of chocolate cake. When I got home that night, Chris took it upon himself to get me a bunch of sweets and my favorite sparkling juice. We joke I am a "Sparkaholic", since I don't drink alcohol. I haven't been able to do much after surgery and I have not fully recuperated. So we stay at home most of the time and watch Redbox movies or Netflix.

Chris is a quiet person and doesn't express himself often in words, and I can be the same way. Communication, we have learned, is an important part of a relationship. We have learned to talk about our problems instead of ignore them. In order to make this work I have had to come to the conclusion I have to find the positive in EVERYTHING. I can't focus on me or my feelings and I have to consider Chris in all I do. He has to do the same by me as well. The "Marriage Isn't For You" article states marriage is truly about making someone else happy, and I have struggled with this. I was so focused on finding MY HAPPINESS and I was not considering Chris' happiness. My favorite quote from the article is "My father's advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today's "Walmart philosophy", which is if it doesn't make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one." This really stuck out to me, because we do often think happiness can be found in someone else if we aren't happy who we're with currently. Happiness can't be found in other people, it must be found in ourselves. 

I decided after surgery to go try on wedding dresses (even though I already had one), for a new beginning. I went with my mom to try on dresses yesterday (November 5th). Since my chest was different as well as my outlook on our relationship, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to find a wedding dress. I was so happy I had this experience. I ended up finding THE dress of my dreams and I am looking forward to an upcoming wedding. 

After I found THE dress. I made Logan go up to Charlotte's Bridal to see me in it! She stayed with Haiden until Chris got out of class, then drove to see all the excitement. :)

Miss Brittany was so wonderful. She helped me find THE dress! :) I can't thank her enough! She definitely made this day special!

I am finally happy about mine and Chris' relationship and the changes we have made. I am looking forward to our future with Haiden as well. I have realized MARRIAGE ISN'T FOR ME, it's for Chris and Haiden as well. I want nothing more than for us to be a family. Haiden is our reason for fighting and making things work. Haiden's happiness is our happiness. 

I encourage everyone to read the "Marriage Isn't For You" article. I will provide the link below:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/marriage-isnt-for-you_b_4209837.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

Twenty-One

Greatest Gift 

I celebrated my 21st Birthday yesterday with my family and my, WITHOUT my Pectus. This is the best Birthday present I could ask for.

I didn't have an ordinary 21st Birthday celebration. I was in a great deal of pain, but I had a wonderful day regardless. I also got to hold Haiden for the first time in a whole month!

No I didn't have any alcoholic beverages. I actually have never consumed alcohol. I had a Professor at a journalism camp tell our class that he had never had alcohol in his life, and he was in his late forties. I want to be able to say that one day. Chris didn't have any alcohol for his birthday either. For me turning 21 is more than being able to drink. To me 21 was another year to be thankful for. I'm thankful I came out of a major surgery with no complications, and I was able to spend my birthday with my family and my son.

Logan and her boyfriend Cameron joined Chris and I for the "festivities". We looked through old family photos and had many laughs, which is still hard for me to do after the surgery. Cameron fits right in don't you think?

We enjoyed a delicious ice cream cake from Marble Slab

PRESENTS

I will say, Chris ALWAYS gets me the best presents. He can be so thoughtful. He got me the sweetest card. He got me Flower Bomb perfume and St. Tropez self tanner that I have been wanting for months. He also bought me the newest Nicolas Sparks book, who is my FAVORITE.  

FROM: Haiden :) I got Minnie Mouse nail polish and the CUTEST sparkly slippers! I wish I would have had these in the hospital. 

NEXT WEEK: 

Since I wasn't able to go out for my birthday, my mom is taking my sister and I to Charleston to go shopping on King Street. 

Sharing my Birthday? 

Yes I share my birthday with Christopher. :) We have had 7 birthdays total together. We started dating when we were 14 and celebrated our first joint birthday at 15 years old. Before we started dating I really liked him. Girls, I know you have all done this so don't laugh at me. I told myself "If we are meant to be, his birthday will be in October." We were messaging back and forth on Myspace, asking the general "pre-dating" questions. So of course I asked when his birthday was and he replied "October 11. When is your's?" I told him mine was on the 10th. He said "Oh. Well I guess I can't ask you out then. My mom says I can't date older women." So maybe we're just meant to be, cheesy right? Not only is Christopher's birthday in October, he was born 14 hours after I was. I was born in SC, and he was born in FL. We give a whole new meaning to the song "When God made you, he must have been thinking about me". So yes we are A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN, literally. Little did I know we would have our own child together one day. We've been through so much, and some days I think I might hate him. Yet I can't help but love him, no matter what comes our way. I like to compare our relationship to Pink and her husband Carey Hart. They have been through a lot to and she describes their love as "COMPLICATED". Her song 'True Love' perfectly describes mine and Chris' relationship. My family and friends can vouch for this. But I don't want to give up the memories, I just want to make more. 

For our 15th birthday (our first one together) we had my mom take pictures of us. This one below was one. We used one of these pictures for our birthday invitations. 

Our first Celebration: 

TONIGHT 
Tonight we celebrated at Outback Steakhouse with Haiden and the Rautio family. I said today was Chris' "Bad Luck Birthday". Poor thing got in a wreck and a few minutes before time to leave Haiden grabbed my straightener and burnt his finger. Haiden was not in a good mood afterwards and I felt so bad he had gotten hurt. Luckily the burn wasn't as bad as I thought, so no trip to the ER thank goodness. We had a wonderful time anyways and made the best of it.

 Poor Haiden! This is his "grumpy gills" face. 

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes! 

Fantastic Follow-Up :)

My follow-up appointment at MUSC was this morning. I was excited about this appointment and getting to see the Pediatric Surgeon Staff!

Dr. Hebra told me everything looked great. My incisions healed nicely, and I should be able to be more active in the weeks to come. He asked me if I was more confident and if I was happy with the surgery. I replied YES to both questions! Of course I asked him for a photo with me for my blog. I felt honored! He did such a wonderful job with the surgery and he is a great doctor. 

ONE MONTH POST-SURGERY EXPECTATIONS: 

Dr. Hebra told me to practice holding Haiden. He said for me to start out holding him and not to lift him quite yet. He said lifting him would take some time. I also have to lift 5 lb weights everyday. Dr. Hebra wants me to wear myself out by walking or running. He wants me tired by the end of the day! This will relieve tension and will be good for my lungs and heart. I still have to take things slow, but the chances of the bar moving are very slim at this point. 

I wanted to visit the nurses who took care of me during surgery. I ran into Sam, one of the therapy dogs I saw when I got to sit up for the FIRST time in the hospital! He's so calm and sweet! 

After the appointment, I went with my mom and sister to Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and the Charleston Market. The night before my surgery we went to Bubba Gump and our WHOLE MEAL was paid for. Our WHOLE meal was paid for AGAIN today! So thank you mysterious meal payer! My family and I really appreciate it! :) 

At the Charleston Market I found the cutest ring! My mom got it for me, since tomorrow is my 21st birthday. I told her I had to get it because it looked like a bunch of sideways 'S's for SERA :) Ring buying from the Market is a tradition. My mom bought me a ring when I was 5 years old, then another when I was 10. I wore the second ring up until I was a Senior in High School. She thought it was time for a new one! 

Oh Pectus, I don't miss you...

I found an old picture from 8th grade and it really shows how severe my pectus was. I thought I would share. I didn't realize how terrible my chest looked. I had grown so used to my dent, and most of the time I ignored it. I AM BEYOND GLAD IT'S FINALLY GONE! 

My "dent" is very visible in this photo

Considering Surgery anyone?

I would definitely recommend this surgery for those with Pectus. Especially if it is interfering with your breathing and your daily life. I am very thankful and blessed I was able to have this procedure. Yes it was painful and still is painful, but I am happy with everything and I know my lungs will be happy as well :) 

Almost ONE MONTH!

It has been almost ONE MONTH since my surgery. I have been trying to adjust to being at home and not being able to do much. This has been the hardest part. I have gotten out of the house a few times. But I'm not quite recovered and I've still been in some pain. I can't lift my arms about my head yet and I'm nervous about picking Haiden up for the first time. I see the doctor for a follow up appointment on October 9th (the day before my birthday) to discuss everything with him.

AFTER

BEFORE 

AFTER

BEFORE

Adjusting/Recovery 

I think the hardest part about recovery is the pain and the nausea, and both go along with this surgery. Even with pain medicine my chest still hurts. It gets better day by day, and some days are worse than others. Nights are difficult too because I can't sleep on my sides. I lay on my back with plenty of pillows under my upper back and head. 

I have been able to get out of the house a few times this past week. I did end up getting sick in the car on one of those trips. GROSS. Throwing up with a metal bar in your chest is painful and I started crying. 

Thanks mom for the lovely photo ;)

I was sure to take a lot of pictures while I was out and about! :) My first outing was to get yarn from Hobby Lobby. I am making infant hats for babies at the Boston Hospital! 

I also went to Lowe's with Christopher and afterwards we took Haiden to Halloween City! Chris kept asking why I was taking so many photos. I told him, "It's my first time out of the house since surgery! I have to capture everything!" 

The next day I went to pick out baby pumpkins for Haiden. And yes it was after this trip I got sick in the car. I'm looking a little green in this photo! 

After getting sick,  I went home to change and then visited my sister Logan at her new job! 

Relaxation is KEY

I have found that I have been very tense after surgery. Being in pain in my chest area scares me, which causes tension. I have had to tell myself it won't hurt forever and relax. I use a handmade lavender scented heating pad. I just pop it in the microwave for a few minutes before I go to sleep. During the day I try to keep busy and keep my mind occupied. I have bought books and I have been working on my crochet projects. 

Handmade lavender heating pad and my most recent book purchase

REGRETS? 

I have no regrets at all after this surgery. Yes, it has been painful and the hospital stay was rough. But God was with me and still is. I am so thankful I came out of surgery fine and I am still doing well. I could not have asked for a better outcome. I feel so much better about my chest. I can look down and I no longer see a dent! My posture also looks amazing. I am very pleased with how everything looks! 

THANK YOU 

Thank you everyone for the kind words, your support, and the gifts. I have wonderful friends and family. I am looking forward to my 21st birthday on the 10th and being "BOOBIE DENT FREE"!