Reaching Out: Pay It Forward

Never in a million years did I think this blog would be such an inspiration to others. My story has reached many people. This blog was started to keep friends and family informed about my surgery and recovery, but it has grown bigger. Through this blog Cathy O'Grady and I have bonded. She is from Massachusetts and does charity work for the Boston Children's Hospital. She decided to use MUSC, where I had my surgery, for a Toy Drive. My dad's barbershop, Charlie's Barbershop, is taking donated toys. Cathy is flying to Charleston and we will be personally delivering the toys to MUSC and the Ronald McDonald House on December 7th. I will provide links to her website and blog for more information at the end of this post. I will also provide my dad's address so you can ship your toys to be delivered on the 7th.

A Public Service Announcement (PSA) was made in mine and Cathy's honor by Fox24. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJSJnStCzDY&feature=youtu.be

I encourage all of you to watch, read about, and participate in this Toy Drive. Every little gift makes a difference. I can vouch for this myself. Just having a teddy bear to hold during my week stay at MUSC made a world of difference. And yes I was 20 going on 21 years old, squeezing my poor teddy to death while getting shots. Some of these kids might not have a family to celebrate Christmas with this year. And with your help we can make their day brighter. I definitely feel for the children who have to spend their Christmas in a hospital. I was in the hospital during my surgery for a little over a week, and I was so ready to be home in my own bed. Some children have extended stays in the hospital and have to be there for long periods of time.

My dad, Charlie Druelle, needs to be recognized as well. He has a big heart and is always thinking about others before himself. He has had it rough the past two years with his business. People have forgotten how much he cares for this community in the midst of these hardships. I can remember being in elementary school running late for church. We stopped by the store to get our favorite "greeting people mints". When we pulled up in the parking lot, a man had the hood of his car lifted and a fire started. My dad parked our car and rushed to the scene. No one offered to help the man besides my dad. So my dad took it upon himself to help the guy, and pulled off his brand new Lionel Smith suit coat and smothered the flames with it. Nothing has changed since then. He would still give the shirt off his back to someone in need. He goes to customers to give them hair cuts when they can't go to him. I have known him to go to hospitals, nursing homes, and people's houses who weren't able to make a trip to the barbershop. His kindness has once again shown through in the MUSC Toy Drive. Deliveries are pouring in, and the back room of his shop is filling up with boxes.  He is expecting more toys as the days go by, so I decided to wait until more deliveries are made before I photographed them. I will have more photos posted to the blog later this week.

My dad and I at his barbershop today! 

Cathy told me today while discussing the toy drive, "Amazing how God puts people in our lives when He does. Facebook isn't so bad after all." I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Without this blog or Facebook, we would not be able to reach out to others. I think it IS amazing how God can use a few websites to bring people together. I do believe this blog is serving a greater purpose and has given me opportunities to change people's lives. MUSC is going to have some very happy children on December 7th, and I am so thankful to be a part of it. I have always prayed to have an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life, prayed for something bigger than myself. My surgery has allowed me this opportunity. The pain and difficult recovery I am still facing has been worth it by far.

Also, a special thanks to Cathy O'Grady for all you've done and continue to do!

How can you help? 

Send your toys to Charlie's Barbershop: 

126 Dominion Drive 

Suite 1050 

Aiken SC, 29803

Visit the links to gain more knowledge about the MUSC Toy Drive:
Cathy's Creations blog:
http://creationscathys.blogspot.com

Cathy's Creations website: 

http://www.cathyscreationsjewelry.com

Cathy's Creations fanpage on Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/cathyscreationsjewelry 

Charlie's Barbershop fanpage on Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/Chuckydabarber

Help us PAY IT FORWARD!

Marriage Isn't For Me

I have seen the "Marriage Isn't For You" blog article pop up on my Facebook timeline. And what perfect timing. I love when I read something and it just speaks to a situation I have been in or dealing with at the moment. And this is where my surgery comes into play. It has been a blessing in so many ways. Prior to surgery, Chris and I were having a hard time. I couldn't understand why things weren't going anywhere, especially considering we had been together 6 years. Having a baby at a young age was hard and has made us grow up quickly. We have lost friends along the way and people we thought would always be there. It was hard having to realize we can't do the things we used to, now we have a child to think about. Having this surgery has put Chris in a whole new light for me, for which I am very grateful. I am one to always focus on the negative, which I can not do after this surgery. I can't emotionally or physically handle focusing on the negative anymore while trying to recover.

Before surgery I would always harp on the bad things Chris did, the way he talked to me when he got angry, or what he didn't do. I was constantly comparing him to other girl's boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands. Ladies you should never do this. I got myself into a lot of trouble thinking "the grass was greener on the other side".  It took me awhile to finally learn that someone else's grass was no greener than my own. No one has the perfect relationship and everyone struggles. The struggles I was facing were in MYSELF. Before surgery I was convinced Chris and I would never  be able to get married or even make a marriage work. I was too focused on what he wasn't instead of what he was. Even though Chris did a lot of good things for me, I refused to see this. He was always there for me when my health issues were getting the best of me. He bought me a SECOND engagement ring for Mother's Day. He took me to Savannah for a weekend before my surgery. But instead of being thankful for all of this, I put my focus on the things I thought he should be doing for me. 

After surgery while I was in the hospital Chris was by my side. This meant more to me than anything. Just the fact he was there. He would stay the night with me, would buzz the nurses when I was in pain, and would keep me company through the whole week. He even missed class some days to be with me. I have learned to cherish the little moments and the little things he does. Last Tuesday I had a seizure and while I was in the hospital I kept saying I wanted a big slice of chocolate cake. When I got home that night, Chris took it upon himself to get me a bunch of sweets and my favorite sparkling juice. We joke I am a "Sparkaholic", since I don't drink alcohol. I haven't been able to do much after surgery and I have not fully recuperated. So we stay at home most of the time and watch Redbox movies or Netflix.

Chris is a quiet person and doesn't express himself often in words, and I can be the same way. Communication, we have learned, is an important part of a relationship. We have learned to talk about our problems instead of ignore them. In order to make this work I have had to come to the conclusion I have to find the positive in EVERYTHING. I can't focus on me or my feelings and I have to consider Chris in all I do. He has to do the same by me as well. The "Marriage Isn't For You" article states marriage is truly about making someone else happy, and I have struggled with this. I was so focused on finding MY HAPPINESS and I was not considering Chris' happiness. My favorite quote from the article is "My father's advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today's "Walmart philosophy", which is if it doesn't make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one." This really stuck out to me, because we do often think happiness can be found in someone else if we aren't happy who we're with currently. Happiness can't be found in other people, it must be found in ourselves. 

I decided after surgery to go try on wedding dresses (even though I already had one), for a new beginning. I went with my mom to try on dresses yesterday (November 5th). Since my chest was different as well as my outlook on our relationship, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to find a wedding dress. I was so happy I had this experience. I ended up finding THE dress of my dreams and I am looking forward to an upcoming wedding. 

After I found THE dress. I made Logan go up to Charlotte's Bridal to see me in it! She stayed with Haiden until Chris got out of class, then drove to see all the excitement. :)

Miss Brittany was so wonderful. She helped me find THE dress! :) I can't thank her enough! She definitely made this day special!

I am finally happy about mine and Chris' relationship and the changes we have made. I am looking forward to our future with Haiden as well. I have realized MARRIAGE ISN'T FOR ME, it's for Chris and Haiden as well. I want nothing more than for us to be a family. Haiden is our reason for fighting and making things work. Haiden's happiness is our happiness. 

I encourage everyone to read the "Marriage Isn't For You" article. I will provide the link below:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/marriage-isnt-for-you_b_4209837.html?utm_hp_ref=tw